This Father’s Day will be my first as a father.  After years of having no intention of having children, I was blessed with a baby girl late last year.  I have an incredible respect for the maternal instincts of my wife and look to her for guidance as I bumble my way through any and all circumstances that I face for the first time.  Diapers, feeding, baths, bottles, thermometers, nail clippers, vaccinations, onesies, sleepers, hats to keep warm, hats for shade, teething rings, blankets, boppies, bouncers, and pacifiers are just a few of the items that I have battled in my early months of fatherhood.  These bumps in the road are only going to be magnified as I trek toward the unknown grasping to any piece of information that is shouted in my direction.

In my moments of desperation I have reflected on my childhood and have looked to my own father for inspiration.  I accepted a few years back that while I thought that he was always wrong and I was always right growing up, that in fact the opposite was true.  He was a hard-working man, who adhered to his own disciplines and routines.  He loved my mom, his lawn, the dog, my sister and I, arguably in that order.  But we share a strong bond through a common passion.  My father taught me to play a game, and through it taught me the lessons of life.  He taught me humility, discipline, and toughness without saying a word.  He taught me about handling adversity with his knowing eyes, risk and reward through outcomes and concentration in times when it was needed most.  The stories that my father would share as he taught me the game were equally as important and the time we spent together invaluable.  I reflect upon these times together with fondness and look forward with great anticipation to the days that lay ahead when we can share in our pastime.  I also anticipate the day that I share this moment with my own child.

As I walk around the fields, diamonds, courts, and pitches in our community, my story is not exactly unique.  While I was taught an individual sport, there are thousands of children learning to play sports with volunteer fathers who take the time to coach and shape the next generation.  Most of these fathers had boyhood dreams of making it to the major leagues, NBA, or NFL themselves.  As children they dreamed of being their heroes as they played in the streets or down at the park, shirts against skins, or some other way to distinguish one team from another.  As they grew older they may have played at the high school level.  If they were outstanding, they may have even played in college.  Some may have even made it to the big show; but it is more than likely that their dreams of athletic stardom seized sometime around the end of high school.  That was their journey and they relished every minute.  It is now their love for the game that will see them pass on their knowledge to a future generation who has similar dreams.  In doing so, they are also teaching them many of the lessons that my father taught me through the game that they love.

Ray Olsen is a father, and one of the founding fathers of lacrosse in Anthem.  He and a group of dads have facilitated the growth of the game in the North Valley.  They have watched a group of boys enter their program and exit as young men.  Olsen did not play the game himself, but that has not stopped him from seeking out those with experience to help develop the program.  Reflecting over the past four years of his involvement with lacrosse, Olsen’s most vivid memories are not of slashing goals or come from behind victories, but about the development of the players, “I have seen hundreds and hundreds of kids fall in love with the game which makes them better students and better sons.  The most rewarding thing is seeing the self-respect the kids develop. This drives all aspects of their character.”

And it is not just the stereotypical fathers with sons.  Michael Phebus is one dedicated dad who coaches his daughter’s High Desert Little League softball team.  His passion for coaching has grown with his daughter over the past eight years, from her first T Ball team to the softball team she plays on today, “The first reason I coach is it gives me time to spend with my kids doing something we all love.  The second reason I coach is it really is something I enjoy.  It is great to see the team on day one of practice and see where they are with their baseball/softball skills and see how they progress throughout the season.  There are kids who can't catch a ground ball, throw very well, or can't hit a ball in the beginning of the year and by the end of the season they have come a long way and developed those skills.  You can see it in their play on the field as well as the confidence they build along the way.”

With the increase in sophistication of the level of organization of youth sports, many challenges have appeared.  The range of expectations from athletes and parents alike is perhaps the most telling of these challenges.  Brad Bengtson, President of High Desert Little League, recognizes this challenge and actually considers it one of the major goals of HDLL to teach the players, “In Little League it is important to learn that no matter what the outcome, it's most important to play the game hard and with integrity.  The skill levels of the players on any given team can vary greatly so it's important that kids at both ends of the development spectrum play well together.”

This Fathers Day, I would like to recognize those fathers who dedicate their time and effort to not only their own kids, but to many others.  The position of volunteer coach or manager of any team comes with a great deal of responsibility and very little recognition.  As we all discover the new levels of expectations in youth sports, let us all keep in mind that no one will be perfect, but those who are volunteering are making it easier for others moving forward and our youth are being given opportunities to play at a level that we were never afforded.

To the dads who do not have the time to volunteer, you are not forgotten.  By supporting your child in their development, whether it athletics, arts, or academics you are also imparting to your children the lessons that you have learned that will help them throughout their lives.

Happy Father’s Day to all.